I am scared out of my mind. Planned pregnancy!!?
We have been married for a while, in our late 20′s, and been talking about having kids. We’ve always wanted kids, we both have strong maternal instincts, both me and him.
Here’s my problem…
I proposed I stop birth control and if we do we do, if we don’t we don’t. My husband is very happy about this and can’t stop hugging me and smiling.
What originally was something I was happy with, is turning into fear. Immense fear.
As much as I want a baby, I worry. We live in a 2 bedroom apt with smoky noisy neighbors who live below us. Our neighborhood is okay at least. The 2nd bedroom is a gym…what will I do with al my fitness equipment? I always wanted a house one day or a bigger place to move in. We can’t afford to move right now.
I have a fear of everything changing. Of giving up freedom. BUT I look in the mirror, see the wrinkles form in my face, becoming aware that my youth is dwindling. I get extremely envious of others who have babies/children….I realize that it is time for me to grow up, pass the torch on so to speak. Also I am an only child and my heart aches for a bigger family, I could never havejust one kid and at the age of 27 I better get started.
My thinking is…if I let my fear consume me, I will just keep passing it off and passng it off. My best friend tells me if I keep waiting for a perfect time that I will never have children. I’m starting to think she is right. I want to cry right now because I am so conflicted.
Idk my fears are what if this apt isn’t good enough. Also I have a fear of everything changing my l
Suggestion by bunnysmile2
All your fears will go away once the baby is born. Find a house you can rent for now until you save enough money to buy youre own home.
Suggestion by Jon
I think you would be a prime candidate to go see a Planned Parenthood Councler. I think it would really help you a lot.
Suggestion by Bootoqua
get started
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Which one of these sounds better?
Which one of there little stories sounds better and why?
1. My Passion
I am passionate about my dancing. I have studied ballet since I was six years old, and I continue to love this pursuit. Although it is grueling work to prepare the body and the mind for a performance, I experience a delicious euphoria when I am on stage. When exhausted after a day’s rigorous practice, I often wonder whether the end result is worth the physical discipline, self-denial and mental focus. Then, I imagine myself on stage again, at the height of fitness and alertness, ready for that opening curtain. This is when I know that, yes, it is all worth it!
2.My Passion
Dance is my life. It is my heart and soul. I am passionate about dance. On stage, I feel groundless, as if I have no limits, no earthly weight. The spirit of freedom which sinks into my every cell sets my body free. When I dance, everything is possible! When I dance, there is magic and light! When I dance, the euphoria of the moment erases the memory of all the painful physical conditioning and self-denial. To dance, for me, is to live!
Suggestion by lifeisamystery
I’d say number 2 
Suggestion by Ginevra
I liked No.1 more cause you really had put some effort in it
Suggestion by Taro Narnia Fried Chkn
Two
But I think you should try and improve both of them
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why did i end up here … how … what i might have done wrong to deserve this ?
- debt of student loans
- very stressful college life (u know how everyone in the world says that college days were their best days in life ….well i have had lot of good memories but i will never miss my college days ..i just enjoy having the freedom to “work” and be able to spend …. i never enjoyed college to the fullest becuz .. i never had the chance to make any “faithful” “accepting” “honest” friends … )
- heart breaks
- ongoing divorce – a rushed decision of marriage
- continuous decline in ability to manage my time
- continuous decline in ability to manage my attitude
- ongoing failures despite of struggles to way i handle my life (watching excessive tv and wasting time etc)
- have a good group of friends …but very few are close friends and i still feel lonliness lately.
- have lot of spiritual knowledge but i just haven’t applied even one bit of my wisdom into my life.
- lack of sense of humor
- lack of physical fitness… although i do go to gym 2 times a week for past 4 years… but its never increased to 3 times a week … average has always been 2 times a week… so NO progress.
maybe i am just thinking very negative in every situation i have …. so is it my negative thinking thats causing all the failures …. or these failures are causing negative thinking ??
Suggestion by whatTHEheck
You sound depressed. Talk to a counselor.
Suggestion by Think about it
My list is much worse than yours. It’s just life. It sucks for most of us and has nothing to do with your way of thinking. I bet I have more student loans than you. You say you have a good group of friends – I don’t even have that. And I have lots of more issues but my way of thinking is normal so it has nothing to do with that. Life just sucks for many of us.
Suggestion by jim
you answered your own question. negative thinking breeds negative behavior. every 15min you are awake say to yourself i am a nice person i have a nice attitude i work hard for myself so i can be happy and i am going to do 5 positive things for other people today because I am capable of that
What do you think? Answer below!
Here are some lyrics, I wrote late last night on the fly(but no text-style thought pen-style)?
Rate and comment
I’m tired during the day, but at night I can’t sleep
Can’t weep, when I try to cry, the tears won’t seep
Eyes blind to the book, when try to look I can’t peep
Through this strife called life, I can’t reap
Any benefit, I thought I was heaven sent, guess not
Just arose from hell with a black rose and black thought
Like the Roots and there’s chains on my boots
Searching freedom and a change though the loot
But fame can’t buy the key for the shackles nor the hassles
And intelligence don’t graduate with the tassels
They say black is not light, like the blind mans sight
With mad strain, but I got two eyes and all I see is mad pain
They said the King is the man with one in the land of this game
But Martin also had two, does that take the dream from his name
Stevie and Ray, both had to stand with out the decisions to see
So how could they be, the men who gave this visions to me?
How come, I want to be a black star like Kweli
And Malcolm, Mos Def, and Ali?
I breathe out wisdom in respiration, and heart strong with out fitness
Receive knowledge from a nation and for long, I’m the witness
Maybe on day I’ll come to sense of all this odd
When they reminisce over you MY GOD
for some reason i don’t respect that first opinion hmmmm
MC Mike S always dropping the realness
Suggestion by lil wayne
THESE R SOME PRETTY INTERESTING LYRICS!!!
Suggestion by -kN0!Ze- [Lakers 42-9]
the rhymes are too “cliche”, so to speak.
(ex. odd/god, name/game).
try using more complex inner rhymes.
its still good though.
7/10.
Suggestion by Andrew S
respect boy, 9/10
i agree with ur “additional details” 
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I’m actually practically, feeling it gradually,
from the agony and tragedy you can produce a masterpiece,
your potential is exponential, just show your credential,
bleed your mental on instrumentals, or see it through a pencil,
I explain it through a rhyme, flames come from my mind,
no pain no gain, propane is in my lines,
so keep at it like a habit, practice you got magic,
an attics the top bracket, so imagine and drop havoc,
I’m done
Don’t take this the wrong way but you really want to know what’s causing all this then look in the mirror because YOU’RE the one causing it! To me it sounds like you make a lot of bad choices if you want to stop then before you do something just stop and think about… Just think ‘how will this affect the future’ and stuff like that stop rushing into things if they aren’t right… Negative thinking won’t be causing it but it will play a part in it and yes your negative thinking is probably caused by your “failures” but hey nobody’s perfect! If you want to manage your time better it’s as easy as turning off the tv and going out the more time you spend infront of the tv the lazier your likely to get just go and head to the gym increase it to 3+ a week, my guess is that your “lack of humour” is due to your negative thinking same with your freindship status people like happy, easy going friends and you sound unhappy and… well… dark almost just relax…. if you really find this too hard go to a therapist or hypnotist well no-one can give you too much on advice because it’s something you grow up learning but like everyone says “it’s better late then never!” So this is back to being easy going just hang around people more and listen to how they talk get to know them then you may get more friends and better friends- Good luck, hope all goes well for you- need any help just email me- Sorry about having such along answer
Yeah whatever.
You go to the gym 2 days a week and say u are not fit?
What about the pack a day smoker who never excercises.
You say u are in college, have friends. You obviously have an education and maybe a few close friends.
What about the guy who could not make the cut to get into college or the one that left high school to go work at a burger joint.
You got it better than alot of people, and u expect them to hear your complaints? i dont think so.
you’re overthinking and overanalyzing and putting a negative spin on alot of it instead of self gratification. i have the same problem. you are always going to be your worst critic and “errors” in life are alot easier to pick out then events you are satisfied with.
honestly i dont see any failure in that list.
all you have to remember is to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.